everything is fake

it's been a month ever since i moved to cousin house. Her mum asked me to move over so that they can take care of me. I was touched, I thought she's guilty over what had happend few years back. But i'm so so wrong !

Today i accidentally saw her msg, her conversation with the husband. actually before this i alr knew she regretted asking me to move over.She say im complicated, am i ? thanks cousin for standing up for me. really thanks. today i finally realized that im fucking naive! ever since my mum's death, I think family is the most important to me, so i forgive everyone that had once hurt my mum, of course, they are my mum's blood related family. ( fyi, my mum was given away to my current grandfather since young)

I treat them like family, i really do. sad to know that they don't ! Fml srsly.

why am i so naive! everyone around me said that to me, and my reply to them is :" i believe if you treat them sincerely, they will do the same :) 不要把每个人想的那么坏. "

wow, this is really hurtful. Her husband even said ：千千( thats what my family call me)不会体谅别人，连他妈他都不体谅. FUCK YOU seriously !

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME SERIOUSLY, BEFORE EVERYTHING ,I DISLIKE U THE MOST, IM JUST TOO LAZY TO SAY WHAT U'VE DONE TO HURT MY MUM. NOW YOU ARE JUDGING ME ! YOU NV TREAT US LIKE FAMILY, YOU BLAME MY MUM FOR SENDING YOUR FUCKING WIFE AND DAUGHTER TO SINGAPORE! WHAT THE FUCK SERISOUSLY! AND AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPEND, I DECIDED TO CHANGE MY OPINION TOWARDS YOU! I WANT TO TREAT YOU AS MY FAMILY. BUT WHAT KIND OF SHIT IM GETTING NOW ! DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK YOU DESERVE TO BE MY UNCLE ?! DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK YOU MEAN ANYTHING TO ME ?! FUCK YOU!

I SWEAR I'LL NEVER EVER GO TO YOUR FAMILY AGAIN! NOT EVEN YOUE FUNERAL. WE ARE NO LONGER FAMILY.JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF! YOU ARE THE MOST USELESS MAN EVER IN THIS WORLD! THAT'S WHY UR FUCKING WIFE CHOOSE TO LEAVE YOU! YOU DESERVE IT JERK. STOP GOING AROUND HURTING MY FEELINGS EVER AGAIN! DON'T EVER JUDGE ME WITH YOUR FUCKING OPINION! IM NOBODY TO YOU!

whatever it is, it got nothing to do with my cousin. She's good&really treat me like a small sister.

us

Just feel like blogging out of the sudden.

Nothing much happened ever since i came back , except I'm attached. I hate to get those responses like :" huh? you sure can last ma ? you guys r so far apart." ,"aiya, this kind of relationship very hard one la." that's the reason why I didn't want to announce to everyone except my girls. I know us better than all of you do .

It's been 4 months since we got tgt, i know him since young , except my bro, he's the first male friend that i knew. our parents are good friends,& we kind of have this vow that we gonna marry each other when we grow up. funny isn't it.

and now we're together (kinda lazy to post the details, if you're close enough to me , come and ask me ,i'll tell you.)

it's much more easier for our r/s to work when our parents know each other, we want to get married after 2years, when i graduate, &they've no objections :) Awesome . and even better, they alr bought a brand new house for us. Everything is ready , just wait till i graduate, hahah! I'm so excited when i think of that. Don't jealous girls.

&most prob my wedding will be held in China, I will only provide air tickets for my close gfs, but ! you girls still need to bao hong bao kay!!!!!

well, that's the plan for now. I can't be so sure of the future. Let's hope nothing goes wrong :)

ehhhh, i feel like changing my phone to HTC desire HD,& get an Ipad2, should i ? or I shld just use my Iphone4. I'm confused .

being sick

I'm listening to Akon's Beautiful in this beautiful morning, it makes me wanna go club so badly. But I guess i'll nv go club again. okay this is not the point!

I've been sick for the whole of last week ,thus, I didn't go to school! Thank God my LOA is approved. Last week is really a terrible week for me, fever went up and down, keep coming back at night,bodyaches almost killed me. Never felt so vulnerable before. &due to my sickness, i've no appetite for anything, no craves , nothing! So now , I lost at least 3 to 5 kg! :'(

Thanks cousin for coming over & took care of me. TOUCHED to the max! & i miss her mum's cooking :)) well, no matter what kind of misunderstanding we had in the past, we're still family, something that i can't deny for sure. I went over to cousin house on Sunday for mother's day celebration, at least this year i have family members here with me! Life's gr8.

2 more weeks to June holiday! Cousin's going with me :) Can't wait to see my grandparents, my brother, maybe my dad! and of course visit beloved mummy! Egggggg-cited !!! Time pls fly like you always do ! hahah

new start

MIA from for almost 4months..
2011, so many things happened in the beginning of this year. I won't blame anyone for anything, this is life. All i have to do is to accept it & move on ! I did it :)
I'm still greatful about life, everyone in the family has become closer, everyone is more understanding now. & of course i wanna thank all my lovely girls ! It's really touching to see you girls at the airport when im back :) I really love you girls !

School is pretty fun, tho most of the time I'm the only girl in the class. Friends have been so good to me , they knew imma b alone during break, they always ask me to join them:) thanks!! Second week of the semester, I'm still coping well. my only wish is to graduate! I don't ask for excellent result , just graduate can already.

For her, I will.

Last day in Singapore

Hope cut her hair too!

<3

my eye is so much bigger than his! hahahah

yo! Jeremy & I!

He's really tired

Desmond! I think he really drunk. keep doing stupid stuff ;/

Martin & I!

I plait my hair:)

This picture is so freaking wrong

Let's party baby!

Had lots of fun ytd with my babes. Powerhouse first, but strictly no entry for people with no IC. Zzzz! Kinda happy cos I actually want to go rebel :D so we cabbed there & party the whole night.

Now my body is aching like mad :(

Friday, Went NUS watch Danzation! first part was really boring, & i was kinda disappointed as i tot NRA dancers can dance well. BUT! the sec half of the show really did impress me! AWESOME ttm. Inspired to learn dance so badly !!

Okay, I gonna pack my luggage now, my blog gonna be dead for the next 1 or 2 months. I know you guys will miss me :) haha.

xoxo

day out with Hope

Sick ever since xmas, finally I'm alright now.

Step out of my house today, like ohmygawd! tho i only went to nearby like Jurong point, I still feel very happy, to breath the fresh air and get to dress up :) I think I'm really very bored at home !

So I went to have dinner with Hope, subway -eat fresh :) bought my organizer, I wish my organizer will be filled up for this year! haha. follow her to police station to report her lost Iphone, it took quite a while :x

Shredded chicken hor fun after that ! :D Full ttm :) I had three meals today, mad happy ! Can't wait to go beijing man. I know i can gain at least 4 kg there.

Tmr gonna be a busy day:) Dance performance at night ! yay ♥

I'm turning in! sleep early guys, sweet dreams :)

xoxo

New year resolutions

I said that I'll blog about my new year resolution tonight, I hope this isn't too late :)

There're few areas that i look into when i set my new year resolutions.

• Ministry

My vision is to become a cell group leader, i know it ain't easy. The more you want to do for God the more you'll be tempted. I pray that 2011 will be a year of breakthrough for me, to really step out of my comfort zone and serve the Lord with all my heart and soul. &I wish to have a greater encounter with God everyday of my life.

• Family

I want to have a better relationship with my family members. By saying that means that I must at least call them twice a week to update them my daily life and also show my concern to them. I want to honour my parents before it's too late.

• Studies

I'm not gonna waste my time on sleeping and daydreaming anymore. when school starts in April. I want to do my best to achieve gr8 result. Attending school everyday will be a must, & I know i can do it if i want to :)

• Character

I've always been wanting to change to a better person. Firstly I want to change my temper, not to get angry or irritated so easily, have more patience on people. & I want to be a teachable person, with zero pride ! Be nice to people instead of saying mean things. and lastly, gossip less :)

• Health

I pray that I'll never fall sick in year 2011, not even headache !& that I'll be able to gain at least 7 kg! I want to stay healthy ! health is more important than wealth!

• Financially

I pray that God will help in managing my finance, so that I won't be in any debt this year. Pray that I'll quit the habit of overspending ! Only buy things that I really need.

These are the major areas that I'm looking into. & i really believe God is going to do something great in my life :) 2010 might not be a good year for me. But I won't let my past define my future! I'll be a big dreamer from now on, for God uses dreamers! ( not day dreamers okay!)

Set your new year resolutions now and let it be the goal for this year :)

xoxo